Compassionate Communication

/Compassionate Communication

Everyone is welcome to the NVC Community; By Jim Manske

For the last several years, the Center for Nonviolent Communication has been building a new organization and visioning the global NVC Community. I enjoyed working with a team of that included four other certified trainers; Eva Rambala, Mary Mackenzie, Gyano Shaw, Marianne Sikor. One of our tasks was to write a proposed purpose and mission for [...]

By | November 20th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Needs Awareness, Uncategorized|Comments Off on Everyone is welcome to the NVC Community; By Jim Manske

Why Do We Have Feelings; By Jim Manske

Imagine it was your job to operate a complex piece of machinery, for example being the pilot of an aircraft. As the pilot, you have clarity on your role, and you have been well trained to perform it. And then, imagine you volunteer to fly a new kind of an airplane as a test pilot. [...]

By | November 9th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Uncategorized|Comments Off on Why Do We Have Feelings; By Jim Manske

On the Punishment and the Protective Use of Force; by Jim Manske

For me, distinctions about "the protective use of force" seem one of the concepts most likely to be misunderstood and misused in NVC. We make a distinction between the punitive use of force and the protective use of force.  The goal of punishment is "To teach the other a lesson" about the way we want [...]

By | October 23rd, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on On the Punishment and the Protective Use of Force; by Jim Manske

Being Present with Feelings; by Jim Manske

  I remember the first time I saw a kaleidoscope. I felt awed by the ever-changing, unique patterns that materialized and disappeared as I manipulated it. I felt entranced by the beauty and complexity, joyfully astonished at the seemingly infinite variety of temporary pattern and color. I still feel excited when I see kaleidoscopes! When [...]

By | September 24th, 2018|Classes, Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Social and Emotional Learning, Uncategorized|Comments Off on Being Present with Feelings; by Jim Manske

N>N>N>N Four Skills of Self-Empathy; by Jim Manske

Notice Name Need Now Here’s a quick self-empathy tool you can try, an homage to the 14th letter of the English alphabet, the letter N. 1. Notice.   Notice what’s happening, right  now.  You can notice anything, and it can contribute to self-reflection and self-understanding. You can notice a feeling, especially a feeling of separateness.  You may [...]

By | September 10th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Empathy Development, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on N>N>N>N Four Skills of Self-Empathy; by Jim Manske

Compassion & Empathy; By Jaya Manske

There is a cost to compassion and empathy. When everything, all your love, all your care, all your passion is extended outward, there is an exhaustion that sets in slowly and lightly, and then eventually so heavy it’s hard to move. Remember to turn some of that compassion inward. One of the most profound moments [...]

By | September 5th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Compassion & Empathy; By Jaya Manske

Why does NVC focus on direct experience rather than creating a new belief system? By Jim Manske

For me, I am learning that thinking (beliefs), although useful for 3 outcomes*, often gets in the way of realizing the connection that is always present when I am observing.  Living in Hawai'i has contributed to trusting my direct experience. When I go to my direct experience, I do not find any boundary between "me" [...]

By | August 24th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Needs Awareness, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Why does NVC focus on direct experience rather than creating a new belief system? By Jim Manske

Judgment and Insight

In my experience, I almost always judge a person or situation because I would judge myself in the same way if I behaved that way. For example, in the culture I grew up in, it was considered impolite to interrupt, that is, to begin speaking before another person finishes. So, I have created lots of [...]

Update from Yantai, By Jim Manske

Today is the third day of an extended weekend training here in Yantai, and our 9th day of training here over the last year.  I sometimes joke that we love doing NVC here in this small village. In 2010, there were almost 7 million people here!  That’s bigger than every city in the USA except [...]

By | April 26th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, NVC, Peer Mediation, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Update from Yantai, By Jim Manske

Update from Beijing; by Jim Manske

Warm aloha from chilly China! Savoring our workshop last weekend in Hong Kong gives me the sweet taste of connection and a deeper understanding of how powerful NVC can be to knit connection. About 35 participants joined us for 2 full days of exploring 9 Skills for Navigating Conflict. We supported people in finding the [...]

By | April 20th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Update from Beijing; by Jim Manske

Fear

Walking quickly and alone along a wooded path at the conference center, I heard heavy footsteps and I felt a stab of fear.  I looked up to see a deer about 20 feet away on the hill.  I felt relief and connected to the beauty of the life around me.  Reflecting, I realized that I [...]

By | April 9th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Self-Empathy|Comments Off on Fear

Infinite Possibility and Unimpeded Hope: NVC in Practice by Aubree Moon

Studying Nonviolent Communication in this dynamic blend of internship and academic study has deepened my understanding and proficiency with communication and self-awareness. The element of being a part of a community that values and actively practices NVC was incredibly stimulating. The multiple practice groups every week offered a dynamic level to my learning, and I [...]

By | March 19th, 2018|Classes, Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication|Comments Off on Infinite Possibility and Unimpeded Hope: NVC in Practice by Aubree Moon

On Needs by Jim Manske

For me, the word “need” (as a noun)  points to the essential, intrinsic energy that impels movement toward survival and thriving within living organisms.  In other words, the power that motivates all behaviors. Essential means “absolutely necessary”. Intrinsic means “inside, coming from within” the organism.  (The dictionary says “belonging naturally”. Motivational means“spurring action toward a [...]

NVC in Action: Relationship Dynamics by Aubree Moon

  This past week, I had a conflict come up with my partner as we were going to sleep. I was feeling sad, and my sadness triggered his anger. He said something to that effect, and I was instantly triggered. A sentence rose in my mind, something along the lines of “I give you support [...]

By | February 20th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on NVC in Action: Relationship Dynamics by Aubree Moon

Let it RAIN! -Jim Manske CNVC Certified Trainer

For me, remembering the distinction between needs and strategies supports well-being because it goes to the root of suffering.  To clarify what I mean, consider this example I heard at a recent workshop:  “When I need empathy and understanding I want to rely on my mate.  There is something about the quality of intimacy and [...]

By | February 5th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development|Comments Off on Let it RAIN! -Jim Manske CNVC Certified Trainer

Why did the chicken cross the road? by Jim Manske

My guess is before you even finished reading that sentence, you already knew the answer.  That ancient childhood joke has become part of how we experience the world at an intuitive level. Remarkably, for me, the joke contains an important insight into Nonviolent Communication (NVC). As humans, we intuitively know that every behavior is motivated [...]

How Do You Teach Empathy?

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JULY 30, 2005 I like Marshall Rosenberg’s definition of empathy for its simplicity and clarity.  He says, “Empathy is the respectful understanding of another person’s experience.” We also distinguish between “empathy”, which focuses our attention and presence on what is alive in another person, and “sympathy”, which shifts the focus to our own [...]

What does a commitment to nonviolence mean to you? A CNVC Trainer’s answers

I’m grateful for the feedback I received from my last post.  Here comes two new questions recently posed on our trainer group along with my responses: What does a commitment to nonviolence mean to you? I enjoy the precision that comes when someone asks for the meaning of a word or concept.  I like slowing [...]

By | January 8th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on What does a commitment to nonviolence mean to you? A CNVC Trainer’s answers

What if there’s no such thing as a perfect strategy? by Jim Manske, CNVC Trainer

What if there's no such thing as a perfect strategy?  (Strategies are behaviors intended to contribute to fulfilling a universal human need.) What that means to me is that no matter which strategic choice I make, some needs will be satisfied while others remain hungry. We all do the best we can to make wise [...]

By | December 26th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on What if there’s no such thing as a perfect strategy? by Jim Manske, CNVC Trainer

The Zero Step of NVC or “I’ll work on me, you work on you.”

Elizabeth “I’ll work on me, you work on you.” Once we learn a communication tool like NVC, our enthusiasm can extend to a heartfelt desire to share it with others.  We imagine that if we are benefiting from the tools of empathy, honesty and self-connection, those we love and care for will also.  [...]

By | December 26th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on The Zero Step of NVC or “I’ll work on me, you work on you.”

Giving the Gift of Compassionate Giving

Giving the Gift of Compassionate Giving What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart. -Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Can you imagine that?  What would the world be like if there was flow between all of us based on “mutual giving from [...]

By | December 11th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Giving the Gift of Compassionate Giving

Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred – a blog article by Miki Kashtan

...Although this was very tender for her, she wasn’t bringing it up for empathy or sympathy. She was bringing it up because she wanted to find a way to transform her thinking about what her sister had shared with her, so she would know what to do with the violent thoughts that were populating her [...]

By | November 20th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred – a blog article by Miki Kashtan

FROM NOW ON by Marshall Rosenburg

FROM NOW ON by Marshall Rosenberg From now on, I choose to dream my own dreams so that I can fully taste the mystical excitement of being human. From now on, I choose to empathically connect with others so that I can fully respect the unique and holy experience to be found in each person [...]

By | November 6th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Nonviolent Communication, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on FROM NOW ON by Marshall Rosenburg

How Nonviolent Communication Liberated One Former Inmate

"In the Nas song “Rewind,” there is a part in the beginning when he says, “the bullet goes back into the gun. ” As a former inmate who celebrated his one-year anniversary out of prison this month, I wish I could rewind and undo every violent experience I’ve had: a prison guard stripping me naked and [...]

By | November 1st, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, Nonviolent Communication, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on How Nonviolent Communication Liberated One Former Inmate

Cultivating the Courage to make Authentic Requests

6/10/17 by Stephanie Weisman, NVCnextgen Administrative Support Team Member In my weekly NVC practice group, we've been dissecting the components of the "OFNR" NVC process, where ~ "O" = Observation "F" = Feelings "N" = Needs "R" = Requests During the course of this extended exploration, I've learned that "When we make an authentic request, we [...]

By | June 12th, 2017|Classes, Compassionate Communication, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Cultivating the Courage to make Authentic Requests

Applying the Lessons with Instant Results

"At an NVC parenting class I recently attended, I had the opportunity to go over an exchange that I had with my two year old son. The exchange with my son had left me feeling frustrated and sad, as well as at a loss for how to deal with his refusal to cooperate with me [...]