Conflict resolution

/Conflict resolution

Why Do We Have Feelings; By Jim Manske

Imagine it was your job to operate a complex piece of machinery, for example being the pilot of an aircraft. As the pilot, you have clarity on your role, and you have been well trained to perform it. And then, imagine you volunteer to fly a new kind of an airplane as a test pilot. [...]

By | November 9th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Uncategorized|Comments Off on Why Do We Have Feelings; By Jim Manske

On the Punishment and the Protective Use of Force; by Jim Manske

For me, distinctions about "the protective use of force" seem one of the concepts most likely to be misunderstood and misused in NVC. We make a distinction between the punitive use of force and the protective use of force.  The goal of punishment is "To teach the other a lesson" about the way we want [...]

By | October 23rd, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on On the Punishment and the Protective Use of Force; by Jim Manske

Being Present with Feelings; by Jim Manske

  I remember the first time I saw a kaleidoscope. I felt awed by the ever-changing, unique patterns that materialized and disappeared as I manipulated it. I felt entranced by the beauty and complexity, joyfully astonished at the seemingly infinite variety of temporary pattern and color. I still feel excited when I see kaleidoscopes! When [...]

By | September 24th, 2018|Classes, Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Social and Emotional Learning, Uncategorized|Comments Off on Being Present with Feelings; by Jim Manske

N>N>N>N Four Skills of Self-Empathy; by Jim Manske

Notice Name Need Now Here’s a quick self-empathy tool you can try, an homage to the 14th letter of the English alphabet, the letter N. 1. Notice.   Notice what’s happening, right  now.  You can notice anything, and it can contribute to self-reflection and self-understanding. You can notice a feeling, especially a feeling of separateness.  You may [...]

By | September 10th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Empathy Development, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on N>N>N>N Four Skills of Self-Empathy; by Jim Manske

Compassion & Empathy; By Jaya Manske

There is a cost to compassion and empathy. When everything, all your love, all your care, all your passion is extended outward, there is an exhaustion that sets in slowly and lightly, and then eventually so heavy it’s hard to move. Remember to turn some of that compassion inward. One of the most profound moments [...]

By | September 5th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Compassion & Empathy; By Jaya Manske

Why does NVC focus on direct experience rather than creating a new belief system? By Jim Manske

For me, I am learning that thinking (beliefs), although useful for 3 outcomes*, often gets in the way of realizing the connection that is always present when I am observing.  Living in Hawai'i has contributed to trusting my direct experience. When I go to my direct experience, I do not find any boundary between "me" [...]

By | August 24th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Needs Awareness, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Why does NVC focus on direct experience rather than creating a new belief system? By Jim Manske

Judgment and Insight

In my experience, I almost always judge a person or situation because I would judge myself in the same way if I behaved that way. For example, in the culture I grew up in, it was considered impolite to interrupt, that is, to begin speaking before another person finishes. So, I have created lots of [...]

Update from Shenzhen; By Jim Manske

Greetings from one of the newest cities in China, Shenzen. About 30 years ago, this sleepy little fishing village across the bay from vibrant, colonial Hong Kong became the first Special Economic Zone (SEZ) in China.  Like Yantai where we were a couple of weeks ago, China began reaching out to the world here. Now, [...]

By | May 1st, 2018|Conflict resolution, NVC, NVC NextGen, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Update from Shenzhen; By Jim Manske

Infinite Possibility and Unimpeded Hope: NVC in Practice by Aubree Moon

Studying Nonviolent Communication in this dynamic blend of internship and academic study has deepened my understanding and proficiency with communication and self-awareness. The element of being a part of a community that values and actively practices NVC was incredibly stimulating. The multiple practice groups every week offered a dynamic level to my learning, and I [...]

By | March 19th, 2018|Classes, Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication|Comments Off on Infinite Possibility and Unimpeded Hope: NVC in Practice by Aubree Moon

On Needs by Jim Manske

For me, the word “need” (as a noun)  points to the essential, intrinsic energy that impels movement toward survival and thriving within living organisms.  In other words, the power that motivates all behaviors. Essential means “absolutely necessary”. Intrinsic means “inside, coming from within” the organism.  (The dictionary says “belonging naturally”. Motivational means“spurring action toward a [...]

NVC in Action: Relationship Dynamics by Aubree Moon

  This past week, I had a conflict come up with my partner as we were going to sleep. I was feeling sad, and my sadness triggered his anger. He said something to that effect, and I was instantly triggered. A sentence rose in my mind, something along the lines of “I give you support [...]

By | February 20th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on NVC in Action: Relationship Dynamics by Aubree Moon

Let it RAIN! -Jim Manske CNVC Certified Trainer

For me, remembering the distinction between needs and strategies supports well-being because it goes to the root of suffering.  To clarify what I mean, consider this example I heard at a recent workshop:  “When I need empathy and understanding I want to rely on my mate.  There is something about the quality of intimacy and [...]

By | February 5th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development|Comments Off on Let it RAIN! -Jim Manske CNVC Certified Trainer

Why did the chicken cross the road? by Jim Manske

My guess is before you even finished reading that sentence, you already knew the answer.  That ancient childhood joke has become part of how we experience the world at an intuitive level. Remarkably, for me, the joke contains an important insight into Nonviolent Communication (NVC). As humans, we intuitively know that every behavior is motivated [...]

Conscious Leadership and Nonviolent Communication by Aubree Moon

*Note:  Aubree Henke, a senior at Evergreen State University has recently begun at internship at NVC for the Next Generation.  Part of her studies includes periodic reflections on her learning goals and processes.  As "field supervisor", Jim Manske has the opportunity to work closely with Aubree.  When he received this first reflection paper, he asked for [...]

By | January 28th, 2018|Conflict resolution, Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Nonviolent Communication, NVC NextGen, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Conscious Leadership and Nonviolent Communication by Aubree Moon

How Do You Teach Empathy?

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JULY 30, 2005 I like Marshall Rosenberg’s definition of empathy for its simplicity and clarity.  He says, “Empathy is the respectful understanding of another person’s experience.” We also distinguish between “empathy”, which focuses our attention and presence on what is alive in another person, and “sympathy”, which shifts the focus to our own [...]

What if there’s no such thing as a perfect strategy? by Jim Manske, CNVC Trainer

What if there's no such thing as a perfect strategy?  (Strategies are behaviors intended to contribute to fulfilling a universal human need.) What that means to me is that no matter which strategic choice I make, some needs will be satisfied while others remain hungry. We all do the best we can to make wise [...]

By | December 26th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on What if there’s no such thing as a perfect strategy? by Jim Manske, CNVC Trainer