Social and Emotional Learning

/Social and Emotional Learning

On the Punishment and the Protective Use of Force; by Jim Manske

For me, distinctions about "the protective use of force" seem one of the concepts most likely to be misunderstood and misused in NVC. We make a distinction between the punitive use of force and the protective use of force.  The goal of punishment is "To teach the other a lesson" about the way we want [...]

By | October 23rd, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on On the Punishment and the Protective Use of Force; by Jim Manske

Being Present with Feelings; by Jim Manske

  I remember the first time I saw a kaleidoscope. I felt awed by the ever-changing, unique patterns that materialized and disappeared as I manipulated it. I felt entranced by the beauty and complexity, joyfully astonished at the seemingly infinite variety of temporary pattern and color. I still feel excited when I see kaleidoscopes! When [...]

By | September 24th, 2018|Classes, Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Social and Emotional Learning, Uncategorized|Comments Off on Being Present with Feelings; by Jim Manske

N>N>N>N Four Skills of Self-Empathy; by Jim Manske

Notice Name Need Now Here’s a quick self-empathy tool you can try, an homage to the 14th letter of the English alphabet, the letter N. 1. Notice.   Notice what’s happening, right  now.  You can notice anything, and it can contribute to self-reflection and self-understanding. You can notice a feeling, especially a feeling of separateness.  You may [...]

By | September 10th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Empathy Development, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on N>N>N>N Four Skills of Self-Empathy; by Jim Manske

Compassion & Empathy; By Jaya Manske

There is a cost to compassion and empathy. When everything, all your love, all your care, all your passion is extended outward, there is an exhaustion that sets in slowly and lightly, and then eventually so heavy it’s hard to move. Remember to turn some of that compassion inward. One of the most profound moments [...]

By | September 5th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Compassion & Empathy; By Jaya Manske

Why does NVC focus on direct experience rather than creating a new belief system? By Jim Manske

For me, I am learning that thinking (beliefs), although useful for 3 outcomes*, often gets in the way of realizing the connection that is always present when I am observing.  Living in Hawai'i has contributed to trusting my direct experience. When I go to my direct experience, I do not find any boundary between "me" [...]

By | August 24th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Needs Awareness, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Why does NVC focus on direct experience rather than creating a new belief system? By Jim Manske

Please” or “Thank You” by Jim Manske

Marshall Rosenberg taught me that all communication boils down to us saying either “please” or “thank you”. Seems like most of what “we” post on Facebook or other social media is more the “Thank you” side rather than the “please” side. We celebrate life events, travel experiences, friendships, encounters, workshops, insights, etc. Exceptions seem to be around [...]

By | August 8th, 2018|Empathy Development, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning, Uncategorized|Comments Off on Please” or “Thank You” by Jim Manske

Judgment and Insight

In my experience, I almost always judge a person or situation because I would judge myself in the same way if I behaved that way. For example, in the culture I grew up in, it was considered impolite to interrupt, that is, to begin speaking before another person finishes. So, I have created lots of [...]

Standing Your Ground on the Foundation of Intention

Effectively connecting to the Zero Step leads you to understand the needs you are hoping to meet before you open your mouth.  The next step to weaving a connected conversation begins with warmly and vulnerably exposing those needs when you start a conversation.  In other words, we let the other person know our intention and [...]

By | June 18th, 2018|Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Standing Your Ground on the Foundation of Intention

Aloha By Jim Manske

In the language of Hawai’i, aloha means many things...greetings, farewell, love, compassion.  I have heard some say that aloha literally means "we breathe the same air".   The work of Marshall Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication, NVC) points to this deep truth that unites all of humanity.  We breathe the same air. We are all connected, therefore, [...]

By | June 6th, 2018|Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Aloha By Jim Manske

We made it home!  

It took 52 hours due to storms and rerouting - what an adventure!  We can share more about this when we see you. Here's what we are doing his week:     Monday 4:30-6:30:  9 Skills Navigating from Conflict to Connection Prefer to do this online on Tuesdays? Check out 9 Skills for Navigating Conflict on NVC Academy. For [...]

By | May 15th, 2018|Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Needs Awareness, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on We made it home!  

Update from Guangzhou

Greetings, Friends, We’ve completed our plurk* here in China for this trip! Our first weekend workshop here in Guangzhou over the weekend included about 35 participants, most of them local, but some from as far away as near Beijing. We’ve been playing a game early in the workshop to ask folks to sort themselves by [...]

By | May 10th, 2018|Empathy Development, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Update from Guangzhou

Update from Shenzhen; By Jim Manske

Greetings from one of the newest cities in China, Shenzen. About 30 years ago, this sleepy little fishing village across the bay from vibrant, colonial Hong Kong became the first Special Economic Zone (SEZ) in China.  Like Yantai where we were a couple of weeks ago, China began reaching out to the world here. Now, [...]

By | May 1st, 2018|Conflict resolution, NVC, NVC NextGen, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Update from Shenzhen; By Jim Manske

Update from Yantai, By Jim Manske

Today is the third day of an extended weekend training here in Yantai, and our 9th day of training here over the last year.  I sometimes joke that we love doing NVC here in this small village. In 2010, there were almost 7 million people here!  That’s bigger than every city in the USA except [...]

By | April 26th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, NVC, Peer Mediation, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Update from Yantai, By Jim Manske

Update from Beijing; by Jim Manske

Warm aloha from chilly China! Savoring our workshop last weekend in Hong Kong gives me the sweet taste of connection and a deeper understanding of how powerful NVC can be to knit connection. About 35 participants joined us for 2 full days of exploring 9 Skills for Navigating Conflict. We supported people in finding the [...]

By | April 20th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Update from Beijing; by Jim Manske

Update from Hong Kong; By Jim Manske

Hong Kong is like island living on steroids.  Surrounded by familiar tropical flora like ti trees and hibiscus flowers, the energy of the city vibrates with the constant background buzz of construction.  The skyline is dotted with lush green peaks and a myriad of industrial cranes hoisting new skyscrapers in every direction.  With a scarcity [...]

By | April 9th, 2018|Nonviolent Communication, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Update from Hong Kong; By Jim Manske

Greater Self Empathy through Somatic Realizations by Aubree Moon

This week I had a somatic realization in relation to self-empathy. My partner and I had been talking and the conversation led us to both become slightly triggered. It was a mild upset, but we both needed a little bit of space to cool off. As I sat alone reflecting, I noticed a strong desire [...]

By | March 12th, 2018|Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Greater Self Empathy through Somatic Realizations by Aubree Moon

On Needs by Jim Manske

For me, the word “need” (as a noun)  points to the essential, intrinsic energy that impels movement toward survival and thriving within living organisms.  In other words, the power that motivates all behaviors. Essential means “absolutely necessary”. Intrinsic means “inside, coming from within” the organism.  (The dictionary says “belonging naturally”. Motivational means“spurring action toward a [...]

NVC in Action: Relationship Dynamics by Aubree Moon

  This past week, I had a conflict come up with my partner as we were going to sleep. I was feeling sad, and my sadness triggered his anger. He said something to that effect, and I was instantly triggered. A sentence rose in my mind, something along the lines of “I give you support [...]

By | February 20th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on NVC in Action: Relationship Dynamics by Aubree Moon

The Potential of Mourning Integrity by Aubree Moon

Week four of my internship with NVC NextGen is coming to a close, and there are many wonderful moments of learning to reflect on. After attending the last two NVC practice groups, I had experiences of the lessons integrating into my daily life. Last week, Jim and Jori taught about ‘have to’, as in things [...]

By | February 14th, 2018|Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, NVC NextGen, Social and Emotional Learning, Uncategorized|Comments Off on The Potential of Mourning Integrity by Aubree Moon

Why did the chicken cross the road? by Jim Manske

My guess is before you even finished reading that sentence, you already knew the answer.  That ancient childhood joke has become part of how we experience the world at an intuitive level. Remarkably, for me, the joke contains an important insight into Nonviolent Communication (NVC). As humans, we intuitively know that every behavior is motivated [...]

Conscious Leadership and Nonviolent Communication by Aubree Moon

*Note:  Aubree Henke, a senior at Evergreen State University has recently begun at internship at NVC for the Next Generation.  Part of her studies includes periodic reflections on her learning goals and processes.  As "field supervisor", Jim Manske has the opportunity to work closely with Aubree.  When he received this first reflection paper, he asked for [...]

By | January 28th, 2018|Conflict resolution, Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Nonviolent Communication, NVC NextGen, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Conscious Leadership and Nonviolent Communication by Aubree Moon

How Do You Teach Empathy?

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED JULY 30, 2005 I like Marshall Rosenberg’s definition of empathy for its simplicity and clarity.  He says, “Empathy is the respectful understanding of another person’s experience.” We also distinguish between “empathy”, which focuses our attention and presence on what is alive in another person, and “sympathy”, which shifts the focus to our own [...]

What does a commitment to nonviolence mean to you? A CNVC Trainer’s answers

I’m grateful for the feedback I received from my last post.  Here comes two new questions recently posed on our trainer group along with my responses: What does a commitment to nonviolence mean to you? I enjoy the precision that comes when someone asks for the meaning of a word or concept.  I like slowing [...]

By | January 8th, 2018|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on What does a commitment to nonviolence mean to you? A CNVC Trainer’s answers

Questions and Answers addressed by CNVC Certified Trainers

Questions and Answers ~ Since I am a certified trainer with The Center for Nonviolent Communication, I have the benefit of participating in an online discussion group with my colleagues.  Recently one trainer asked the rest of us for feedback on some questions she had received from organizers of a project she was working on.  [...]

By | January 2nd, 2018|Empathy Development, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Questions and Answers addressed by CNVC Certified Trainers

What if there’s no such thing as a perfect strategy? by Jim Manske, CNVC Trainer

What if there's no such thing as a perfect strategy?  (Strategies are behaviors intended to contribute to fulfilling a universal human need.) What that means to me is that no matter which strategic choice I make, some needs will be satisfied while others remain hungry. We all do the best we can to make wise [...]

By | December 26th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Conflict resolution, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on What if there’s no such thing as a perfect strategy? by Jim Manske, CNVC Trainer

The Zero Step of NVC or “I’ll work on me, you work on you.”

Elizabeth “I’ll work on me, you work on you.” Once we learn a communication tool like NVC, our enthusiasm can extend to a heartfelt desire to share it with others.  We imagine that if we are benefiting from the tools of empathy, honesty and self-connection, those we love and care for will also.  [...]

By | December 26th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on The Zero Step of NVC or “I’ll work on me, you work on you.”

Giving the Gift of Compassionate Giving

Giving the Gift of Compassionate Giving What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart. -Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. Can you imagine that?  What would the world be like if there was flow between all of us based on “mutual giving from [...]

By | December 11th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Needs Awareness, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Self-Empathy, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Giving the Gift of Compassionate Giving

Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred – a blog article by Miki Kashtan

...Although this was very tender for her, she wasn’t bringing it up for empathy or sympathy. She was bringing it up because she wanted to find a way to transform her thinking about what her sister had shared with her, so she would know what to do with the violent thoughts that were populating her [...]

By | November 20th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Conflict Resolution Skills, Conflict Resolution Tools, Empathy Development, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred – a blog article by Miki Kashtan

2017 Maui IIT Reflections

11/11/17 It is difficult to understand NVC without first opening up to the place of vulnerability. That word vulnerable has two meanings for me; one from a place of acceptance within yourself and an openness to explore reasons. Without this openness of being vulnerable NVC would just be a word or a concept for me, [...]

By | November 13th, 2017|Empathy Development, Maui NVC, Nonviolent Communication, Nonviolent Communication for the Next Generation, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on 2017 Maui IIT Reflections

FROM NOW ON by Marshall Rosenburg

FROM NOW ON by Marshall Rosenberg From now on, I choose to dream my own dreams so that I can fully taste the mystical excitement of being human. From now on, I choose to empathically connect with others so that I can fully respect the unique and holy experience to be found in each person [...]

By | November 6th, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Empathy Development, Nonviolent Communication, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on FROM NOW ON by Marshall Rosenburg

Check out this new Mood Tracking app created by a Yale-based Emotional Intelligence scientist

For those of you with Android or iOS devices, there is a 'feelings' app that can help a person assess one's mood and associating feelings, and can be used as a tool for tracing feelings to their underlying source, in order to provide clear personalized information around one's values and boundaries for navigating life with [...]

By | November 1st, 2017|Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Check out this new Mood Tracking app created by a Yale-based Emotional Intelligence scientist

How Nonviolent Communication Liberated One Former Inmate

"In the Nas song “Rewind,” there is a part in the beginning when he says, “the bullet goes back into the gun. ” As a former inmate who celebrated his one-year anniversary out of prison this month, I wish I could rewind and undo every violent experience I’ve had: a prison guard stripping me naked and [...]

By | November 1st, 2017|Compassionate Communication, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, Nonviolent Communication, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on How Nonviolent Communication Liberated One Former Inmate

Cultivating the Courage to make Authentic Requests

6/10/17 by Stephanie Weisman, NVCnextgen Administrative Support Team Member In my weekly NVC practice group, we've been dissecting the components of the "OFNR" NVC process, where ~ "O" = Observation "F" = Feelings "N" = Needs "R" = Requests During the course of this extended exploration, I've learned that "When we make an authentic request, we [...]

By | June 12th, 2017|Classes, Compassionate Communication, Conflict Resolution Skills, Empathy Development, Social and Emotional Learning|Comments Off on Cultivating the Courage to make Authentic Requests

Applying the Lessons with Instant Results

"At an NVC parenting class I recently attended, I had the opportunity to go over an exchange that I had with my two year old son. The exchange with my son had left me feeling frustrated and sad, as well as at a loss for how to deal with his refusal to cooperate with me [...]